迷失的老美

Again, I am backdating this post to stay chronological.

We got to the airport early in the morning, a tiny tiny airport with only one flight… which goes to Urumqi. It really is more of a train station atmosphere than anything else.

We took off, we landed, and Jude’s friend met up with us to go to the hotel to drop off our stuff and take us over to her home. It was a great hotel, but our rooms… not so much. Mine was complete with the harassing calls in the middle of the night for “massages” coming from the “salon” down the hall. I unplugged the phone.

We hit the bazaar and bought a little, hit up a lover’s point covered with locks, the park and finished up with a huge dinner and show after resting at her home and meeting the family for a few hours. We needed to get off to see the sights and signed up for the hotel tour group thing.

Big mistake… The bus was “cheap”, kinda. 200 or so kuai per head, but the entire experience was one of “ok, stop for 30 minutes and then get back on the bus” and a fun version of “democracy” where there was a vote on who wants to go to see a random tourist trap and pay an extra 20 kuai for the honor. Of course it was much too early for half the bus to be awake and most of the rest didn’t really care either way. So, 10 people raise their hands and that was enough. Freezing cold outside and if we didn’t want to pay we had to get out and stand by the road for half an hour.

So, we saw the windmill farms, a site dedicated to some musician, Flaming Mountain, the Karez, Jiaohe, a vineyard slash birthplace of Afanti and a fully certified authentic Uighur household. Needless to say, it was all more or less bullshit. The windmill farms were the only real thing to see, but it was more of a roadside momentary stop. The musician site was a replica outpost that looked more wild-west than anything else and was made of concrete and freshly painted wood… they were busy building more authentic old buildings while we were there. Of course, ignore all that and wander off behind the warehouse where they store extra junk to sell to tourists and you see a massive mound which is actually the ruins of an ancient outpost. No fences, no signs, just bulls which you have to try not to piss off. I wish I knew more about that and less about the singer or whatever he was.

The Flaming Mountains are part of The Journey to the West, you know the one on TV all the time with the monkey, pig and monk off to retrieve the Buddhist teachings. Anyways, there is now a giant thermometer stuck in the ground that is surrounded by tourists taking pictures and ignoring the mountains. Camel rides for obscene amounts of money and overpriced junk that is identical to all the other overpriced junk everywhere else.

The Karez is pretty damned cool. It is underground irrigation coming off the Turfan Basin and allowing for oases in the middle of the desert. This, however being China, was not the focus of the site. Nor was its history of over 2000 years. No, the main focus seemed to have been on the fact that Mao inspected the site at some point, and by inspected, of course they meant he came, poked around, had pictures taken and put up some plaques. This was a continuing theme in Xinjiang, playing up the importance of the PRC while taking a dump on real history.

Next on the list, The Jiaohe Ruins. Again, a very cool place being ruined by tourism. We got 40 minutes to wander around, with the walk from the bus to the beginning of anything interesting taking 10, with the bathroom located conveniently on the opposite side of the parking lot… so that bathroom break had to wait. It’s beyond ancient, and as such, most of it is completely blocked off and no one is allowed to wander around off the wooden-planked path. This is another place that would be great to come back to if you were willing to off road a bit and come around the back side of it. Click the wiki link if you want to know more about the place, but it was one of my favorites. Just not enough time.

Off to the vineyard and the birthplace of Afanti. Now, this was, by far, the best stop on the tour. Not because of the site, which was fake and not even a real vineyard, but because of the mutiny on the bus. Me and Jude were trouble makers and busy trying to spread dissent about the timing, the endless demand for more money, and how fake everything was. We were still pissed about that first democratic vote. Well, we lucked out. A fellow tourist was there with his fiance and had been on the tour before. He remembered going to a different place down the road with a gorgeous vineyard and was pissed about being taken to this place instead. It got fun. The bus heard that they were being cheated and demanded to go to the other place. It was instant mutiny. Everyone was suddenly pissed about being cheated, pissed about being constantly hit up for more and more money, and pissed at the tour guide. She pulled the guy off the bus and paid him off to agree that it was a real vineyard. I used this chance to demand money back from the “authentic Uighur house visit” which was an extra 10 a head. I had given her a 20 and she tried to give me back a 50 and demand change. I decided to be an asshole and demand my 20 back, not that I didn’t have the 30, but I really didn’t feel like giving up my small bills. Hey look at that, she had that 20. Entire bus laughed their asses off at the prospect of a foreigner verbally bitch slapping the tour guide. So, we got off, wandered around the fake vineyard and checked out the Afanti house. The Afanti house was a new construction and the fake mud-straw covering didn’t cover down far enough, so we could see the brand new brickwork. There were two doors, one was open and showed some humble setting, the other one was not even a real door and peering through the window you could see it was a storage shed.

And onto the “Authentic Certified Uighur Home”. It was a singing, dancing, you get a small slice of watermelon and one bottle of water affair while they get you to look like an ass. Me and Jude wandered around instead and saw a real vineyard over the wall and had a much better time than anyone else. The Afanti vineyard had pissed off some tourists far more than the tour guide expected and people started calling the tourist board to complain. I suggested they mention that a foreigner was on the tour too and was very upset, they liked the idea and included it in the report while I was cracking up.

I took this opportunity to drag us over to the Fubar for dinner and a nightcap. This is a great place with great atmosphere. The prices are Beijingish, but the atmosphere is Western and worth every penny. I don’t normally plug places, but this is THE place to go if you are in Urumqi and want a semblance of home. It’s a also a great place to meet up with serious expats, land some work and get advice. One of the owners is the FIRST foreigner to EVER get a drivers license in Xinjiang, that should say something about the quality of the tips you can get.

Got back to the hotel late and decided we would just hire a taxi for the next day instead. The extra cost was worth it.

A friend of a friend had a car and we shelled out 500 for the day. Tack on 95 each for the tickets to Tianchi and it was a great day. We had all day to wander on Tianchi. I led us up the wrong path, a steep, abandoned path leading up to a small abandoned temple covered in monkey shit, but it was all good. I thought that the path would lead down on the other side, but it didn’t. It was still an awesome view and worth the hike. The path thing was annoying, they put in cement stairs and paths on the mountain. Yes, stairs on the mountain. It was not agreeable and Jude agreed. So, we wandered off the path and hiked alongside the river. The water was clear and pure and we drank it straight. The best water I have had, it was a little sweet from the pine it filtered through on it’s way down. Wandering off the path led us to a man in a small yurt who lived on the mountain. He hooked us up with hot water and water bottles.. which we promptly lost in the river in an attempt to cool them down unfortunately. Hiking off the path DID lead to some disappointment unfortunately. The river abruptly ended and we found that it was coming from pipes. The waterfalls were artificial and if you look closely you could see the joints in the concrete texturing. We got into a nice snowball fight on the bridge and went off to find a scenic spot that was mentioned on half the signs. We found the wrong spot. It was a “future” spot that was not yet complete. Migrant workers dumping their trash, ruining a natural pool to make it more “exciting”. Seriously, it pissed me off to see it. It’s a mountain, it’s good enough on it’s own, leave it alone. The big payoff of course, is the glacial lake on the top of the mountain itself. It is massive, but obviously polluted now from the tourists. We were pooped, bought some overpriced drinks, hopped onto a tourist street car and over to the lift. Hike up, ride down and get to see everything from a few hundred feet suspended in the air. My camera, unfortunately got broken on the first day at the Bazaar, got bumped into kinda hard and the LCD broke. So, Jude has all these pics .

We spent a good 6 hours on that mountain and it was amazing. Tourist groups got 2 hours. 30 minutes just to wait for the lift, an hour or so at the top and ride back down. Learned later that they paid 300 a head for that experience. So, we came out ahead.

That night, we FINALLY had kvass and 手抓饭. I had to call home about it right then and there. Kvass is a honey beer. It is literally Honey and Hops, it’s mead. 手抓饭 is rice pilaf with lamb. Add in some 串 and 馕, and it did NOT feel like China anymore.

Again, back to the hotel for a good night’s sleep before going back to Beijing. Determined to come back here again and venture out to Hotien and hit up that desert of death on my own time…. and chug more of that Kvass.

Well, it’s been a long time, too long and I am going to once again backdate this post so it looks like I am not that lazy about my blogging.

So where to start. We hired the taxi driver that we met the night before and kidnapped him for the day. He drove us all the way out to Karakul Lake as requested and by god, it was worth it. He could speak Mandarin and Uighur, although being Han. Got up early in the morning and raced down to a military office to get permits to go where we wanted.. turns out it is a military-controlled area.

Long, long, long drive with stops along the way at worse and worse bathrooms and bagels, 馕, and 哈密瓜 for snacks. It got pretty remote, lots of nothing on a glacial plain covered with well-worn rocks left over from the last Ice Age and mountain streams running down the side. Salt Marshes, Glaciers, Sand Mountains, and finally the lake. We warmed up in a Yurt and our guide managed to get us in on a single ticket (saving us 50 kuai). We also got a “deal” for horses.

Ah yes, the horses, but I will tell that story in a bit. We rode around the lake until the cold and the wind forced us into a Yurt where we ate more 馕 and had Yak Milk Tea. We paid 20 kuai for it, which was overpriced, but we didn’t think anything too much of it. There is no wood out in these parts and it is too remote for coal or gas… so, we found that all the heating is done by… well… dried poop that I was hoping was from the yaks and goats. I also had the misfortune of having to “use the facilities”. I was polite, asked where the crapper was and they kept pointing towards a hill. I hunted quite a bit until I discovered “it”. Just a designated area out the in the open. There’s a pic somewhere which I might upload someday. Well, when in Rome…

We had had enough and headed back to the main yurts to ditch the horses. The deal was 50 kuai an hour for the both of us. We showed up and they said it was 2 hours of riding and 50 per hour each. Um… 200 kuai, we did not have on us. I had about 90 on me and Jude had 10 left. We decided to wait a bit for our guide to wake up and see what we could do, because he was the one who brokered the original deal. Well, he was furious about the fact that we were charged 20 kuai by people who considered him a “local” and demanded we be paid back. He also made note of the fact that even taking into account the time we spent in the yurt and the time he was resting, we were barely over 90 minutes. Lots of yelling, lots of accusations and finally he pulled a knife, one of those Uighur knives of lore. The yelling stopped and we agreed to 120 minus the 20 that we had be charged by mistake. I got all Chinese and passed out the smokes and melon and hey, we’re all friends again.

Amazing really, knife fight out in the middle of nowhere with mountains and glaciers surrounding us. Still shocked that we didn’t die.

We started the journey back, saw the same things we saw on the way down in addition to some Pakistani trucks, got through the military checkpoint and made our way back to Kashgar for dinner.

Seeing as we were broke, it was time to stop at an ATM so we could pay the guy, weirdest thing was that it only gave out 50s instead of 100s. His rate was 400 for the day, I gave him an extra 50 because he was awesome. We also treated him to dinner as we promised and it was all good. He said he would take us to the airport in the morning too, which he did

If you are ever in Kashgar, I can recommend the best guide there is

Next, off to Urumqi.

So, after going to the traffic administration, I was given sweet-talk about how I was right. Welp, 2 weeks later and still no fence. This is how things work here I guess. Been too busy to keep fighting for it.

So what I did on National Holiday….
Me and Jude ran off to Xinjiang because we wanted to and could. Urumqi and Kashgar. It was a fun ordeal actually. For those of you who are not aware of how holidays, specifically “Golden Weeks” work in China. It goes something like this:
Half of China wants to go see the other half of China and all types of transport turn to shit overnight. It’s like the Christmas rush in the States, but with no planning. Everyone is determined to go on the 29th, 30th and 1st. This results in tickets on the 2nd being dirt cheap. We went on the 2nd. The problem was getting the tickets. We ordered our set of tickets to get to Urumqi, but then decided we should order a set to get back to Beijing on the 8th. In the end, after many many mixups, we ended up with 2 sets of tickets to get there and one set to get back. Yay, we got to choose what we wanted!

Then we decided to go to Kashgar on a whim. Welp, need more tickets for this, as it’s about 1500km from Urumqi and I don’t feel like wasting an entire damned day on a train or crowded bus. Ctrip was of no help, but Elong came through. How to pay for it? Online etickets work, but I, not having a Chinese credit card yet (still working on this), couldn’t do it, and Jude’s had a limit. The masses had finally realized that tickets are dirt cheap after the 1st and they were going fast. Elong was already closed up for the night and I wouldn’t be in the office in the morning. So, I decided to just go down to their office and order. The maps on Baidu and Google are HORRIBLY wrong by the way. I arrive after they had closed and talk my way into their 4-story office building and into their telephone sales department. This was possibly the most fun I have ever had ordering tickets. Their ATM, which had been broken for months also magically worked for me. So, Beijing to Urumqi on the 2nd, then transfer to Kashgar. Go back to Urumqi on the 5th and then back to Beijing on the 8th. All for pretty cheap, hooray!

So, the trip.
Pictures speak better than words do for this.

It started out on a good note

Stopped for lunch in Urumqi. Naan rocks

Flight to Kashgar was over half white people. Yes, this was odd and cool at the same time

Mosque #1: Id Khar: 20kuai admission, well worth it

Xinjiang, being so far from Beijing uses it’s own “unofficial time” 2 hours behind Beijing Time. More or less all mosques go by it. Official places simply adjust their work day and stick with Beijing time. It’s kind of an act of defiance towards Beijing. If you know about what happened in this place in the not-to-recent past it would sicken you. During the war, Mao promised Xinjiang independence… well, Chinese lie a lot. During the Cultural Revolution millions of Han were sent to Xinjiang, destroying the 95% Uighur majority. Mosques were closed and used to raise pigs to break spirits. The “official” form of Uighur was changed over and over again to confuse native speakers. From Roman script to Cyrillic to Arabic. There was even a time when speaking Uighur was considered a crime. Hundreds of thousands of these people have been executed over the years. Going by Xinjiang time, for some, is a silent form of protest.

This is all over the place in Kashgar. Foreign money for sale on the streets. Horribly illegal in China, yet as commonplace as dentist stands in Kashgar.

We wandered from Id Khar, mainly because wandering is fun, and also because we were hunting for a China Mobile recharge card. Chinese is simply NOT used in Kashgar. It’s all Uighur. I demonstrated my expertise in navigating a foreign culture and getting what I need.

We wandered into this randomly. This, like the hutongs of Beijing is slowly being destroyed. It’s all Uighur, it’s very traditional, and it’s rather sad to see how it has been turned into a tourist attraction where locals in their poverty become something for tourists to point and stare at. However, it’s a really cool place. 30 kuai admission, again, well worth it and the people running it are not Han, so your money is going to the locals who need it.

Handwoven rug in the making

This place is like a maze inside and like a castle outside. High walls, limited access. Welcome to the middle ages

Handmade brasswork

This place is packed full of mosques. Residents mostly live a very traditional life here. Women stay home if they do not have a male escort and cover up.

More wandering and we got to People’s Square after going through the Bazaar. A fun reminder that China lays claim to this place with an iron fist. This is the largest Mao statue in all of China, and the entrance is surrounded by guards. No one allowed near it (because it would be defaced the second locals got the chance). Ran into Marco here for some reason, a German buddy who I randomly bumped into in Beijing when shopping a few months back. Small world.

And it’s time for another Mosque. This is the entrance to the Abakh Khoja complex. Admission is 50 kuai for a full set of tickets. You can skip the garden, but the museum is pretty interesting and worth the extra 10. No pictures allowed in the museum, so respect it please, unlike the Chinese tourists who were determined to grab candid shots of the Tarim Mummy laying inside. There are a lot of other standard museum pieces on display, which if you have ever been in a Chinese museum just go to demonstrate how different the culture really is here. See that sign to the right? These are everywhere and on everything here it seems. It’s your standard historical marker sign, but with a fun twist. The date it was built is shown, but the more prominent date is the date that China “recognized” it as a historical site. It’s pretty much just bullshit, Chinese government trying to lay some kind of claim to these ancient sites that they have no real right to do.

And the tomb itself. Again, no pictures inside, please respect it.

Old building for scripture readings, slowly falling apart (roof beam is cracked).

Sign says it all

Starting to wonder how we are going to get back to the city…

So what? There’s a million others selling the same stuff anyways. Just like the famous Hotan jade shops full of mostly fake jade for the tourists.

Hidden amongst all the PRC crap, a surprising amount of KMT stuff is in the markets here. It’s just another fun reminder that you aren’t in Kansas anymore, no matter how much Beijing wants you to think you are.

Way back: found. Yep, taking the bus.

Now for a brief interlude to explain what happened next. We made the mistake of trying to take a taxi and go somewhere. The hotel gave us a map, but it was all in Chinese and English for some reason. This may sound like a ideal situation for a tourist, however locals DO NOT speak or read English or Chinese at all for the most part. Someone *cough* decided to show a picture of the place we had just been to in the hopes of getting to the tomb of Yusup Khass Hajip, but this only served to confuse the driver and he took us back where we started… Yes back to Hoja. Imagine the shock and horror on our faces when we found that we could not even communicate that he was going to the wrong place. There was nothing we could do. FINALLY he took us to a Mosque, which, well, it was interesting, but it was on the other side of town. Adventure nonetheless, and therefor it was cool

Very off the beaten path, definitely not for tourists. No Chinese characters (or people for that matter) anywhere to be found. This is real Kashgar.

And here we are. So I don’t have to explain it all for ya, here’s what Yusup Has Hajip is all about

The guy who everyone’s crazy about:

And the tomb itself

I snapped up some pictures from the inside and surrounding area, but they are rather boring to look at so I am not going to post them here. I just wanted to capture the writings. Also, this entire place is a “no pictures allowed” place for the 30 kuai admission. To take pictures you have to pay 100 or so. Out of respect for the guy, I won’t post his final resting place, even if the site has turned into a postcardless money trap if you want pictures.

After the tomb we decided to call it a night and grab some dinner. We wandered a bit on my insistence and finally grabbed a taxi when we could wander no more. We somehow got a taxi driver who could speak Chinese. He was Han, but raised in the area. He taught us the fun trick that locals don’t go by half-kilos for buying stuff at the market. Nope, it’s a full kilo, that’s why the price seems high at first. This led us to Day #2 adventures.

Wow, that’s a long post and it was only the first day in Kashgar. I’ll post day #2 later.
It involves a trip to a military zone, a random friend, a fight over horses at Karakul Lake, flaming poo, and bathroom habits of the Kyrgyz. Stay tuned!