Again, I am backdating this post to stay chronological.

We got to the airport early in the morning, a tiny tiny airport with only one flight… which goes to Urumqi. It really is more of a train station atmosphere than anything else.

We took off, we landed, and Jude’s friend met up with us to go to the hotel to drop off our stuff and take us over to her home. It was a great hotel, but our rooms… not so much. Mine was complete with the harassing calls in the middle of the night for “massages” coming from the “salon” down the hall. I unplugged the phone.

We hit the bazaar and bought a little, hit up a lover’s point covered with locks, the park and finished up with a huge dinner and show after resting at her home and meeting the family for a few hours. We needed to get off to see the sights and signed up for the hotel tour group thing.

Big mistake… The bus was “cheap”, kinda. 200 or so kuai per head, but the entire experience was one of “ok, stop for 30 minutes and then get back on the bus” and a fun version of “democracy” where there was a vote on who wants to go to see a random tourist trap and pay an extra 20 kuai for the honor. Of course it was much too early for half the bus to be awake and most of the rest didn’t really care either way. So, 10 people raise their hands and that was enough. Freezing cold outside and if we didn’t want to pay we had to get out and stand by the road for half an hour.

So, we saw the windmill farms, a site dedicated to some musician, Flaming Mountain, the Karez, Jiaohe, a vineyard slash birthplace of Afanti and a fully certified authentic Uighur household. Needless to say, it was all more or less bullshit. The windmill farms were the only real thing to see, but it was more of a roadside momentary stop. The musician site was a replica outpost that looked more wild-west than anything else and was made of concrete and freshly painted wood… they were busy building more authentic old buildings while we were there. Of course, ignore all that and wander off behind the warehouse where they store extra junk to sell to tourists and you see a massive mound which is actually the ruins of an ancient outpost. No fences, no signs, just bulls which you have to try not to piss off. I wish I knew more about that and less about the singer or whatever he was.

The Flaming Mountains are part of The Journey to the West, you know the one on TV all the time with the monkey, pig and monk off to retrieve the Buddhist teachings. Anyways, there is now a giant thermometer stuck in the ground that is surrounded by tourists taking pictures and ignoring the mountains. Camel rides for obscene amounts of money and overpriced junk that is identical to all the other overpriced junk everywhere else.

The Karez is pretty damned cool. It is underground irrigation coming off the Turfan Basin and allowing for oases in the middle of the desert. This, however being China, was not the focus of the site. Nor was its history of over 2000 years. No, the main focus seemed to have been on the fact that Mao inspected the site at some point, and by inspected, of course they meant he came, poked around, had pictures taken and put up some plaques. This was a continuing theme in Xinjiang, playing up the importance of the PRC while taking a dump on real history.

Next on the list, The Jiaohe Ruins. Again, a very cool place being ruined by tourism. We got 40 minutes to wander around, with the walk from the bus to the beginning of anything interesting taking 10, with the bathroom located conveniently on the opposite side of the parking lot… so that bathroom break had to wait. It’s beyond ancient, and as such, most of it is completely blocked off and no one is allowed to wander around off the wooden-planked path. This is another place that would be great to come back to if you were willing to off road a bit and come around the back side of it. Click the wiki link if you want to know more about the place, but it was one of my favorites. Just not enough time.

Off to the vineyard and the birthplace of Afanti. Now, this was, by far, the best stop on the tour. Not because of the site, which was fake and not even a real vineyard, but because of the mutiny on the bus. Me and Jude were trouble makers and busy trying to spread dissent about the timing, the endless demand for more money, and how fake everything was. We were still pissed about that first democratic vote. Well, we lucked out. A fellow tourist was there with his fiance and had been on the tour before. He remembered going to a different place down the road with a gorgeous vineyard and was pissed about being taken to this place instead. It got fun. The bus heard that they were being cheated and demanded to go to the other place. It was instant mutiny. Everyone was suddenly pissed about being cheated, pissed about being constantly hit up for more and more money, and pissed at the tour guide. She pulled the guy off the bus and paid him off to agree that it was a real vineyard. I used this chance to demand money back from the “authentic Uighur house visit” which was an extra 10 a head. I had given her a 20 and she tried to give me back a 50 and demand change. I decided to be an asshole and demand my 20 back, not that I didn’t have the 30, but I really didn’t feel like giving up my small bills. Hey look at that, she had that 20. Entire bus laughed their asses off at the prospect of a foreigner verbally bitch slapping the tour guide. So, we got off, wandered around the fake vineyard and checked out the Afanti house. The Afanti house was a new construction and the fake mud-straw covering didn’t cover down far enough, so we could see the brand new brickwork. There were two doors, one was open and showed some humble setting, the other one was not even a real door and peering through the window you could see it was a storage shed.

And onto the “Authentic Certified Uighur Home”. It was a singing, dancing, you get a small slice of watermelon and one bottle of water affair while they get you to look like an ass. Me and Jude wandered around instead and saw a real vineyard over the wall and had a much better time than anyone else. The Afanti vineyard had pissed off some tourists far more than the tour guide expected and people started calling the tourist board to complain. I suggested they mention that a foreigner was on the tour too and was very upset, they liked the idea and included it in the report while I was cracking up.

I took this opportunity to drag us over to the Fubar for dinner and a nightcap. This is a great place with great atmosphere. The prices are Beijingish, but the atmosphere is Western and worth every penny. I don’t normally plug places, but this is THE place to go if you are in Urumqi and want a semblance of home. It’s a also a great place to meet up with serious expats, land some work and get advice. One of the owners is the FIRST foreigner to EVER get a drivers license in Xinjiang, that should say something about the quality of the tips you can get.

Got back to the hotel late and decided we would just hire a taxi for the next day instead. The extra cost was worth it.

A friend of a friend had a car and we shelled out 500 for the day. Tack on 95 each for the tickets to Tianchi and it was a great day. We had all day to wander on Tianchi. I led us up the wrong path, a steep, abandoned path leading up to a small abandoned temple covered in monkey shit, but it was all good. I thought that the path would lead down on the other side, but it didn’t. It was still an awesome view and worth the hike. The path thing was annoying, they put in cement stairs and paths on the mountain. Yes, stairs on the mountain. It was not agreeable and Jude agreed. So, we wandered off the path and hiked alongside the river. The water was clear and pure and we drank it straight. The best water I have had, it was a little sweet from the pine it filtered through on it’s way down. Wandering off the path led us to a man in a small yurt who lived on the mountain. He hooked us up with hot water and water bottles.. which we promptly lost in the river in an attempt to cool them down unfortunately. Hiking off the path DID lead to some disappointment unfortunately. The river abruptly ended and we found that it was coming from pipes. The waterfalls were artificial and if you look closely you could see the joints in the concrete texturing. We got into a nice snowball fight on the bridge and went off to find a scenic spot that was mentioned on half the signs. We found the wrong spot. It was a “future” spot that was not yet complete. Migrant workers dumping their trash, ruining a natural pool to make it more “exciting”. Seriously, it pissed me off to see it. It’s a mountain, it’s good enough on it’s own, leave it alone. The big payoff of course, is the glacial lake on the top of the mountain itself. It is massive, but obviously polluted now from the tourists. We were pooped, bought some overpriced drinks, hopped onto a tourist street car and over to the lift. Hike up, ride down and get to see everything from a few hundred feet suspended in the air. My camera, unfortunately got broken on the first day at the Bazaar, got bumped into kinda hard and the LCD broke. So, Jude has all these pics .

We spent a good 6 hours on that mountain and it was amazing. Tourist groups got 2 hours. 30 minutes just to wait for the lift, an hour or so at the top and ride back down. Learned later that they paid 300 a head for that experience. So, we came out ahead.

That night, we FINALLY had kvass and 手抓饭. I had to call home about it right then and there. Kvass is a honey beer. It is literally Honey and Hops, it’s mead. 手抓饭 is rice pilaf with lamb. Add in some 串 and 馕, and it did NOT feel like China anymore.

Again, back to the hotel for a good night’s sleep before going back to Beijing. Determined to come back here again and venture out to Hotien and hit up that desert of death on my own time…. and chug more of that Kvass.